#28 'Twas the night before pushoff and all through the boat.

‘Twas, the night before pushoff and all through the boat,

Not a creature was stirring as we were afloat.

The dinghy was hung on the davits with care,

Tied down so securely to go anywhere.

Butch and I nestled all snug in our bed,

While visions of ‘locks to come’ danced in our heads.

Butch in his sweats and lying on his back,

Quickly fallen asleep for which he has a knack.

When on the aft deck there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the salon I flew like a flash,

Tore open the drapes and slid open the sash.

The Beaver Moon on the river low and aglow,

Gave a luster of midday to objects below.

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But that darned little heron who’d been pooping all year!

He had a sinister crouch and 2 feet that were slick,

I looked all around, but could not find a stick.

More rapid than an eagle that courser he came,

I whistled and shouted and called him bad names…

Shoo Crasher, Trespasser, you Intruder, you Vixen!

Go away Stinker, you Scoundrel, you Thanksgiving Day Fixin!

To the top of the bridge, to the top of the beam-

Fly away, fly away before I can scream!

Then onto the bow that darned bird did alight.

He was around the corner, but still within sight.

His eyes how they twinkled, his feathers a bit ruffled.

He started to coo, but it was slightly muffled.

I tried to decipher what he wanted to say,

But my disgust for him really got in the way.

He coo’ed a bit louder, insisting I hear,

The reason I had to clean poop up all year.

“I just love your boat, it’s always so clean,

I perch on the back and don’t intend to be mean.

But the fish are delicious so I eat them all day,

And poop on your boat while you are away.”

I sure was surprised at this bird’s confession,

And had no belief that he’d learned a lesson.

But we’re leaving tomorrow and forgiveness is divine,

So I figured he was no longer an enemy of mine.

I turned around to head back inside,

Preparing myself for tomorrow’s long ride.

Then I heard him exclaim as I stepped out of sight,

“See you on the Loop and have a good night!”

Anonymous says:

November 6, 2025 at 2:11 pm

Wow! You are a gifted writer regarding poop!!!

November 6, 2025 at 2:24 pm

Great one! Bon Voyage!

Jeff says:

November 6, 2025 at 2:37 pm

OMG. The day has come. Finally, all is ready and most importantly, You and Butch!
From one Irish folk to another, an old wish is proper:
‘ May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you both in the palm of his hand.’